The Game of Life

This Friday I started reading Paul Kalanithi's memoir "When Breath Becomes air". One part in the Foreword grabbed my attention: "I was struck by how easily he could have been an English professor-and, indeed, he had seemed to be headed down that path at one point in his life... He became a physician instead, but one who always dreamed of coming back to literature in some form". This part reflected one of my recent fears - choosing the wrong career path.

There have been multiple occasions where I have found myself jealous of how my sister has always known what she has wanted to be. Being a veterinarian hasn't just been a childhood phase for her, but something that she is currently pursuing as a sophomore in college. It isn't just the fact that she has always known what she has wanted to be that astonishes me, but it is the fact that her passion for the career is just so visibly clear to anyone that meets her.

I have always told myself that I have time to choose a career; not knowing what I wanted to go into has never really bothered me, but as I sit here truly not knowing what I want to become when I grow up even though college is only a year away I am getting anxious. Quite a few options have popped into my head over the past decade of my life, including:

• Chef

• Marine Biologist

• Nurse

• Physician/physician assistant

• Entrepreneur

• Real Estate Agent

• Lawyer

The problem with so many of these is that the interest that I have/had for them, no matter how slight, is the result of seeing other people do these jobs/the lives they have because they pursued this certain path. Every time I find myself eyeing one of these paths for my future, I find myself stuck in a never-ending loop on whether it's because of the lifestyle that comes with the job, the money, or because someone I know is telling me how great of a life I could have if I was a (blank).

I am worried that when it comes time in a year or two to commit myself to a career, I won't be ready and regret my choice. As I sit here grappling with this fear, I am thinking about how my aunt told me during a vacation this summer that I don't have to be so passionate about one thing to have a successful career. The more I think about this, the more I feel like it is true. Although my career will be a big part of my life and I want to hopefully enjoy it and be motivated to work hard, life is constantly changing. If I find interest in other things later on in my life, then so be it. I don't have to build my life around something that causes me temporary joy right now. Additionally, the reality is that whatever job I choose isn't always going to make me happy and excited all the time. Obviously, there is a lot of hard work that goes into it, but I can find other things in my life to bring me joy. I can find hobbies and put my time into pursuing a side-hustle. It is all part of the game of life and I am excited to choose how I live it.

Plans from the past two weeks:

Hoco Game- backwards hats because we won again!!

Some pics from hoco

Sad that I didn't get a chance to go in the gaming truck but still super fun

:))

☁️🌥☁️🌥☁️🌥